Kayla Glynn’s challenging relationship with her science-loving grandfather alters the course of her life.
Kayla Glynn is one of The Story Collider's newest producers in the Vancouver area, as well as an ocean enthusiast. She is trained in marine management and research, but has recently shifted her focus to the realm of science communication. Kaylais currently the Digital Communications and Research Specialist for Clear Seas Centre for Responsible Marine Shipping and is on the Executive Board of the Canadian Network for Ocean Education. She is passionate about sharing her knowledge of the ocean and marine life with others and helping to improve global ocean literacy. Kayla believes that given the right knowledge and tools, people are capable of mitigating their impacts on the planet and fostering a deeper a relationship with the natural world. Follow her at @kaylamayglynn
This story originally aired on Mar. 16, 2018, in an episode titled “Generations”.
Story Transcript
When I was a kid, I would follow my grandfather around everywhere he went. I distinctly remember waiting for him to come home and watching him walk up the driveway wearing a black suit and a red silk tie, the same thing he wore every day. I would follow him upstairs and wait for him to go into his office.
I didn’t know this version of my grandfather very well who wore a suit, but I loved any opportunity I got to go into his office. It was the coolest place. Inside were beautiful books and stacks of magazines, lots of National Geographics, which, to this day, are my favorite. There was a big globe and lots of breakable things. There were dried corals and lava and sponges.
I was not allowed in this room without supervision so as soon as he put down his briefcase and left to go change, I would shoot away.
The man who would come downstairs later was a very different man. This was the version of my grandfather who I was much more familiar with. This version wore strictly dirty sweatpants, always had a pack of smokes on him, and was rarely sighted without a beer in hand. He also referred to absolutely everything as a “whatchamacallit.”
So as he headed downstairs, to his workshop, I would follow along behind him. And before he'd get started on whatever project it was that we were working on that night, he'd turn on the CD player and Celine Dion would start to just blare throughout the entire house.
We’d sit down and then he would yell at me over the music, “Big Girl” -- that was his nickname for me -- “pass me that whatchamacallit.”
He'd point in my general direction, where there were a number of screwdrivers, hammers, his beer. Your guess is as good as mine as to what he wanted.
Later that night, we would watch the Discovery Channel until he fell asleep, at which point I would take that opportunity to find all of the ice cream in the house and just gorge myself. It was a pretty sweet deal.
Unfortunately, as I grew older, we started having a harder and harder time understanding each other. One day, he took me out for a long walk in the woods. At that point, I really had to pee. Instead of turning back, he thought it would be a great idea if I just peed in the woods. We didn’t have to turn back. It was not a good idea because I had never done that before, and I ended up peeing all over my own pants.
I had not perfected my squat. I didn’t know what to do and I was so embarrassed that I just cried the whole way home. I think he got in a lot of trouble for that one.
In another attempt to bond with me, he took me fishing. That was his favorite hobby. He thought it would appeal to the animal lover in me -- you know, we’re outside. It’s awesome. It was awesome for a little bit. And then I caught a turtle and I cried.
I remember being so angry with him, angry with him for making me do these things that ended so badly, angry that he had put me on situations like this. By the time I was a teenager, getting in trouble for throwing my first big rager, which I was definitely not allowed to have, he had no idea what to say to me. I distinctly remember him pointing at me like you would a dog and saying, “Bad girl!” I don't know if he just didn’t want to make me cry or if I mystified him the same way that he mystified me.
Not long after this, one night I was at home and I heard something going on downstairs, I heard that someone else was over. It wasn’t just my parents. So I headed down to the kitchen to check it out and I saw my grandfather was over. He was sitting at the table with my parents. As soon as I entered the room, I could tell there was this really heavy tension. There was a lot of sadness in the room. When I saw my mom’s face, she was crying.
My grandfather had just told my parents that he was terminally ill. He had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and he would not be with us much longer.
A few weeks after that, my dad sat me down and he told me that my grandfather wanted to leave me a decent amount of money, but I would not get the money unless I used it to go to university. I had no plans on going to university. It was not in my plans, not that I had any, so I didn’t really know what to do. I delayed. I wanted to spend more time with my family and support them in this time and I wanted to spend more time with my grandfather because we hadn’t had a lot of one-on-one time.
I’m glad I did because we ended up making some pretty awesome memories, one of which was me taking him to the museum. At that point, he was too weak to walk so he was in a wheelchair and he asked me to just wheel him around as fast as I could. And I did. It ended in a pretty significant crash, but he didn’t care. He knew security wasn’t going to say anything to a sick man in a wheelchair, and I thought that was pretty cool of him.
I decided I did want to go to university. If someone was going to pay for it, I would give it a shot. So I applied and I got accepted. And my grandfather passed away that summer before I started my first year.
I absolutely hated my first year of university. I was depressed. I thought about quitting. I came very close twice, but I felt this really terrible guilt. I thought, This is what my grandfather wanted from me and it’s his money that I’m spending, so every time I came close to quitting, the guilt just kept me in school. I couldn’t leave.
Eventually, I ended up finding courses that I really enjoyed and I found topics that I became very passionate about. I finally, eventually finished my degree. And then I finished another.
Thanks to the opportunity my grandfather gave me, I now work as a marine science communicator and I love my job. Sure, it’s not perfect. There are days that things could be better. People drive me crazy. I get asked a lot of dumb questions. I know people say there's no such thing as a dumb question, but that’s not true. There are. We've all heard them. I know you know it.
My favorite one so far is, “Do the whales not like the rain? Do they not like getting wet?”
“What? They're whales. They're in the water. They're always wet. It’s critical to their survival.” That’s not what you want to say to someone, but more than one person has asked me that question. And when that happens I’m like, “Where did you come from? Have you ever been outside before? How did you get here?”
I remind myself in these moments two things. I remind myself, Okay, I have a job here. I have an opportunity to impart knowledge. And if I do that successfully, in turn it will be my grandfather who is impacting that person. It’s not just me.
And when I get frustrated like this, I remind myself that my grandfather used to frustrate me like this. I remind myself that I might have more in common with this person than I know, so I should just be calm and try to find what that is.
A few years ago, while I was still in school, my dad shared with me something that my grandfather shared with him before he died. Apparently, my grandfather had told him that he really believed that you only impact the generation directly above you and directly below you. And that really breaks my heart. It really kills me to think that he died thinking he had no impact on me because, obviously, he did. I really wish that he had known how much of an impact he had on me and how much of an impact I am now able to have on every generation under the sun because of him and the opportunity he gave me.
A lot of people have told me since he passed that it’s really too bad that we didn’t get to know each other better while I was an adult because we really had a lot in common, and they're right. I like to think that I embody both versions of my grandfather, the best qualities of each. Fortunately, I never picked up the habit of carrying around the smokes, but I will partake in a few beers. I am a voracious learner. I love to learn and I work really hard. But you can also find me at home in my sweatpants, eating ice cream with the latest issue of Nat Geo. And you can also find me at home blaring Celine Dion any time I’m anxious or just jubilant. It’s Celine for me.
And I love fishing. I'll beg people to take me fishing. And I absolutely love going for long walks in the forest. I’m very pleased to tell you all that I have become an expert at peeing in the woods. I wish that he knew all of those things about me.
Thank you.